Thursday, June 28, 2007

This Party Will Suck: Don Carlo, but free booze

What's up with Don Carlo?

Why does it look like ALL of his parties will suck?

Anyways, to break down why this party in particular will suck, let's start with the flyer.

On the left half of the flyer is a saluting "hot chick" in a camo bikini top that barely covers her fake rack. Yuck...

The dude on the top right of the flyer pointing to the "Club Killer" (sp?) logo on his sweatshirt he thinks he's a badass gangsta, but in fact looks like a nerdy jew.

The DJ on the bottom right that looks very Bridge and Tunnel bland? Well, that's what every other guy at the party is going to look like: muscley (he's cycled once in his life, spends time lifting free weights at the gym), short hair (to keep it neat and appropriate for work, prevents him from using "faggy" hair products), some sort of gaudy necklace (dog tags, jesus, ice), a silkscreened T-shirt (to show he's trendy), Diesel Jeans (to show off his toned buttocks) and a leather jacket (to show his "edginess").

Now let's get to the deets:
Doors open 3PM
Dress code: Business Attire/trendy sexy
2 1 & Over ID Required


2 FOR 1 DRINKS 3-7PM
COMPLIMENTARY BUFFET
DINNER RESERVATIONS RECOMMENDED
UNBEATABLE BOTTLE SPECIALS ALL NIGHT
CORPORATE OPEN BAR RATES AVAILABLE


SPECIAL GUEST DJ
Hip Hop . Classics . Rock . Latin


Ladies Free til' 7pm, Reduced after w/DON CARLO MENTION
Gent's Free til' 7pm, Reduced after w/ DON CARLO MENTION

I don't even know where to start with this one.
Corporate Open Bar Rates?
So Pfizer, or Prudential, or (name your bland corporation here) is going to sponsor you to get Drunk at Don Carlo's party?

And why are there separate lines for Ladies and Gents getting in free and reduced?
Just saying in a gender non-specific way "Free till 7 and Reduced after w/ DON CARLO MENTION" isn't enough?

Next, what about spell check? "Gent's"

Anyways... that's enough ragging on Don Carlo for now -
I will make it to a Don Carlo Party one of these days and report back.

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